I GOT IT!!!!

It's been a wild ride, and it's finally coming to an end.

Time After Time

Every year I give myself the same speech: this year was good, but next year will be even better. I have identical resolutions. Travel, eat well, exercise, home goods, and for goodness' sake, get a new coat so I don't freeze in winter.

If we can compartmentalize into a check list, wouldn't that be much easier?
If we give ourselves a deadline, would that serve to motivate us?
If we dream enough, would it become a reality?

Stay tuned. I will find it in a few hours.

Please leave me alone

Years ago, my friend and I had a discussion of how we each dealt with stress. 

"Oh, you know, listen to music, read for hours, sleep." I blabbered on. 

"But what about actually talk it out with someone?" Hints of concern reeked across the screen. 

"I don't think anyone wants to hear me whine, for starters."
"You can talk to me about them. At least you'd be able to address the issue"  

"Oh, I don't know. I think I'm better with things on my own." Great, now I sounded defensive. Insert more things to say when you weren't exactly close with them, and you tried your best to keep a civilized tongue. 

Fifteen minutes later, I grudgingly accepted that if I ever felt stressed, I'd turn to him. 

The fact that we are no longer speaking should establish that, yes, it is much better to deal on my own. 

Because nobody wants to hear about your misery in life, and how problems seem to pop up like ads. No one can be sympathetic, or emphatic, more than you can do for yourself. No one understands what you are going through, not exactly, except you.  

But go ahead. Watch their eyes gloss over while you are in the middle of telling your conundrum. Have them dismiss their problems like they were nothing. Listen to their "everything will work out" speech. After all, they aren't their problems. 

Rather than burden and aggravate someone else with your problems, wouldn't it be better to deal them on your own? Instead of displace your agitation on the ones who are close to you, wouldn't it be better to be left alone? In the mean time, let me stew in my own misery. Let me cut off contact with the rest of the world.  

I will feel better after this.