Hang the DJ

Funny how time flies. The last time I wrote here was more than a month ago. I wish I have a valid reason, but the truth is, I'm just lazy.

Okay, that sounded kind of irresponsible, let me rephrase that.

I haven't updated lately because my mind has been occupied by something else. My time, in turn, is no longer mine, but a shared entity. Don't get me wrong, I welcome it. I'm learning more about myself every day, and I'm definitely happier than I was two years ago. I find myself grasping desperately at Time. It slips through my fingers, and I crave it constantly. My memories, too, have been affected. Not as bad as mistaking my wife as a chapeau, but days seem to blend together. I rely on photos and words to recapture events of life. Clearly that explains why I find Momento as a fascinating movie.

I spent a good majority of yesterday culling my memory space. It went from a little over 1000, to 164. My phone has only 16G memory ("fun" fact), which is practically unheard of in this day and age. Pretty sure even my Grandma has more phone storage than me.  There is something surreal about watching memories, beautiful memories, disappear before my eyes. I'm sure there's something metamorphic about the process, but it only left me with a strong case of melancholy.

Last weekend, we decided to watch "Hang the DJ," one of the newer episodes on "Black Mirror." After fumbling for a good half an hour over Google Chromecast (50x more complicated than Sonos, and 100x more obstructive than Apple), we finally got it to work (fine. Mostly him). The premise was simple. Imagine if there was a way to be able to pair up with your "soul mate,"and there was a 99.8% accuracy attached to it. Just one teeny little disclaimer. Before meeting your Bonnie or Clyde, you had to undergo a series of trials, or relationships that were doomed to fail. Everyone was presented with a little Alexa Echo device, and if you clicked the reel at the same time, they'd tell you how long the relationship would last.

At first, it was thrilling. You were constantly being matched up to potential mates, and constantly going on dates. If anything, you'd at least receive physical satisfaction out of it, which, to some , seemed to be enough. Our main couple met in a (very typical, but mutely fashioned) restaurant, and sparks flew immediately. For one, they shared the same type of sordid humor, and that went a long way in prolonging infatuation. After clicking the magical ball, they had less than 24 hours with each other. They were served impertinent food, driven to a case house (there was a roaring fire, so A+ for that), and...held hands while laying in bed.

It was actually quite romantic, as first dates go.

Then time was up, and they were forced to let go of each other.

In the second round, the male protagonist was stuck in a meaningless relationship for a year, but held onto it because what would be the alternative? Dying alone? Having something half way is better than having nothing at all. The girl fared slightly better. She was with someone who was physically attractive, confident, and experienced (this is my 5th, he flashed his 10,000 watts smile). Sure, there was nothing besides infatuation, and that went away fairly quickly. She was constantly aggravated by his behaviors, and didn't even look back when they parted their ways.

More meaningless relationships occurred, and more time was being wasted. They talked about each other constantly, even when they were intimate with other people. Eventually their paths crossed, and they were given a second chance.

"Let's not ask the magical ball about how much time we have. Let's not let it dictate our lives. Let's just enjoy our time together," the girl pleaded lovingly with her eyes. "Of course," the guy obliged. We were then treated with five minutes of the most stunning depiction of relationship. Eating breakfast together, taking bubble baths, reading, cooking, sharing intimacy, and above all, be happy in each other's company.

I nudged him. "I want this."

Of course, nothing is everlasting. The guy, the curious soul, decided to contact the crystal ball and find out their relationship expectancy. "RE-CALIBRATING. RE-CALIBRATING," the device screeched, and I wondered momentarily if the girl was Sleeping Beauty, because how else would she be able to sleep through it all?

It went from 5 years, to less than 24 hours.

Back to the beginning. Back to that horrid thing called a dating pool. Back to being alone, and lonely. Back to fulfillment. But life would never be the same. That was something they could never go back to.

Fate, or in this instance, technology, had a way of bringing people together. If it was meant to be, it would happen. No amount of obstacles was going to change that. They took the obstacle quite literally, as they had to climb a stair-less ladder (it'd make sense if you watched the show) to escape the game. Maybe you had to be trained as a ninja, or at least, be fluent in Parkour to find true love?

Unfortunately, real life doesn't have an app that tells us who to love. The only people we can depend on is ourselves. It's lonely road, but it doesn't have to be.

When you like someone, you like him because of his qualities.
When you love someone, you love him in spite of.
If you find someone you cherish, and who cherishes you back, hold on to him
If you're lucky enough to find someone who adores you, and your many quirks

Never let him go.